Jenny Berz on Parents' Concerns

Jenny Bender Berz holds a Master's degree from the Harvard Graduate School of Education and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Boston. She has worked in the fields of education and psychology since 1992.

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Transcription: 

"Every time I’ve done a program for parents or a workshop for parents, the best part of it is that when – is when the parents start talking to each other and start realizing that they’re not the only one who feels a certain way about their child, or they’re not the only one who has certain anxieties about the way that their children are developing.  And that is extremely powerful.  But I think that when your child comes home and tells you that somebody did something at school and now you have no friends, it’s easy as a parent to feel just as isolated as that child, and it’s easy to feel defensive, and it’s easy to feel confused, and especially if you, as a parent, had that happen to you as a child, or knew someone who it happened to, it’s very scary.

How do you know something like this is really serious, as a parent?  That’s a good question.  I think it’s important to be close to your children, and to really know when they are feeling more intensely about things and when they’re – when they’re really scared because certain things are happening, and to take what they’re saying seriously.  It’s a fine line: you don’t want to be the parent that worries so much that your children don’t tell you anything.  But you also don’t want to be the parent that doesn’t take it seriously so your children don’t tell you anything.  It’s not easy.  It’s not an easy role to play."